Even The Homeless "Garden" Project Begs For Money

The homeless garden project has begun panhandling for YOUR change. The project, facing financial instability, plans to setup a stand on Pacific Ave and compete for your attention among PETA and SOS (Save our Shores). The project doesn't need much money, and uses pictures of carrots alone with creative slogans like, "Why lie, I need fertilizer" and "Need money for bus to OSH." Last year the HGP started their "Homeless Grown Vegetables" campaign, which was an immediate hit among the Santa Cruz locals.

Local homeless veteran Guy Saturday told reporters, "We need to iron this out or else these vegetables will be out on the street just like us." He added, "If I have to wait in line behind another carrot top I'm gonna piss all over this joint!"

A HGP representative elaborated on the story, "I can't believe this project has made it this long. I started it to keep the homeless off the streets. I knew homeless people were dirty, so playing in the dirt was a natural transition. Our original building was a giant trash compactor and we were just going to bate them in with poppyseed bagels, then crush them for dog food. Who knew they would start planting shit? Now I guess we need money.. Which makes sense.. Homeless have never been known for their ability to produce much more than obscenities and obscene gestures. If something doesn't change the vegetables will be just like their farmers, homeless."

Santa Cruz Sentinel Article